Once upon a time in a land far far away, where liberals swim in a lake of green, and football fanatics run around throwing longhorn gang signs, there lived a almost middle age female of average looks and outstanding personality named Lisamarie. Throughout her life she learned that she was always seeking an adventure, along the way she found planes to fall out of, rocks to climb, and yes she even spent time beneath the lake of green, all for the feeling of peace and tranquility. Every adventure came with little challenge and not a one could satisfy her need for more.
When this almost middle aged female turned almost middle age'ish she had an epiphany, one that left her knowing that its not about one single adventure being able to satisfy the soul, but all the adventures making up the person she is and therefore Miss Lisamarie decided to continue on her adventures, seeking out new and different paths in life.
This adventure chapter takes our heroine to a world unknown. A world where things are fake, yet real. A world where after her part in it is complete, the real adventure begins and the fake world turns real. It all started with a email from Ponderous Productions, and a three page script. Within three days Lisamarie was sitting at a table having latex and oil based make up applied to her body, for today she is no longer Lisamarie, but a Radiation victim turning into a zombie like creature. She shall beg and plead for her life, only to turn on her savior thus resulting in her very fast , very bloody ...death. The following is an actual diary exert from Lisamarie about this particular day.
Dear Diary,
Wow, just got the email from Amanda, I am going to be a zombie type person in a movie...yes a real movie. Ponderous Productions seems to think Ill make a good un-dead. I have a 3 page script that I am supposed to memorize in which I beg and plead for help. Once I receive the help I get to attack and cannibalize and well the screams cause enough commotion that I ultimately lose my life. Yet I can't help but continue to smile just thinking about how this will all turn out. Wow me, in a movie.
And now let's move on to her thoughts the day after her adventure, did her ideals and expectations become fulfilled? Did our heroine find another adventure worthy of endless grins and satisfied spirits? Let's find out...
Dear Diary,
Holy Zombie Brains, I am so awesome. Yesterday was one of the most exciting moments thus far (besides popping the kids out and all that mushy awwww stuff). I do not even know where to start, so I will start at the moment I printed my mapquest directions... I printed my mapquest directions, packed my bag and got on the road, San Ant is about a hourish away so I wanted to make sure I got there early enough to make up for the times I get lost or stuck in traffic. I succeeded, and I only got lost three times. I was literally a bundle of nerves, meeting these people for the first time, and actually having lines and wow, I could not focus. The crew and actors were on lunch, so I met Amanda first, and she got to work on my makeup. Ive never had the thought to make myself a zombie, so I had no clue how it was going to even happen. Now Im addicted to latex, although Ill admit it was a bit annoying and painful when it was plucked up to look like sores and scars but over all it was a awesome process.
Soon after my makeup was complete I ran my lines with the other two actors in the scene. Up until now I've only done live theater, and then the fletc stuff, so all has either been rehearsed for extended time or made up, and I realized very fast that lines are way harder on film. I could not remember my cues, I could not grasp timing and I was pretty sure I sucked ass, however we got the shots the director wanted and I know I died well. The dying was the most fun, except for the blood. Although the blood looks rather real, and it was made from sugars and chocolate, and it was cold, I must say that while holding it in my mouth I felt the sudden urge to throw up and after hearing cut ran to the street to fulfill that need. Then I was ready for more, the more we shot the more blood that was everywhere, and the more fun I was having....and then the greatest thing happened...Sergio brought me out a prosthetic brain...YES you heard me right a prosthetic brain. Over all I think I did decent for my first film appearance. Time will tell. Things to remember..."Rolling = Shut up the camera is rolling" "Action = Go" "Cut = Go throw up the blood"...
It appears that Miss Lisamarie had an exceptional time with her first film. From there she got a sentence in the television show Friday Night Lights, and many extra roles for the same role. All in which she met new and fun people who helped her to realize that this adventure is only beginning....
Ponderous Productions decided to make her a beta, yes this homely looking female was going to have to change her appearance enough to fit a role for a genetically enhanced ultra sexy clone type bad ass chick. Let's take a look at this entry...
Dear Diary,
After 2 bleachings, 2 tonings, and 2 hair dye jobs she achieved bimbo blond...next apply sexy hot corset to secure her imperfections out of view and what do we have? Yes you guessed it right folks, we have an almost sexy not to enhanced but still cloned bad ass chick ready to kick some ass. The only problem, a corset binds the body in a position better left for the bedroom. A corset is a two person show, one person is placed within its grips, while the other one pulls it into submission, once that struggle is complete the dance begins, yet breathing is almost non-existent and every movement while it may give an appearance of sexy, is actually just a battle to breathe, and yet I find this highly erotic and very much enjoyed 90% of the movements I had to take while wearing such. Matthew took me and 3 other chicks over to practice our fight scene. Yes that's right LM gets to kick some ass, all the while not taking names (ive a poor memory) I was to go first, punch, miss, get held, hit on leg, then thrown...then he fought the other three, towards the end I come out of nowhere, elbow one way in the face then back, he restrains me and then Gabby the other corset wearing hottie comes in for the kill and yes all the while our kill was smoking a cigarette (which btw may contribute to his inability to defend his life better)...While practicing I got nervous and asked what if I accidently ended up hitting him for real on accident? The fear of God was placed into me by Matthew. Okay yes remember NO HITTING THE ACTORS....so we set up and go to do it again, and next thing I know instead of my elbow being missed I made contact and a collective "ohhhhhh" was heard from those around. I started freaking hoping Matthew did not see, apologized profusely, only to have my hit redeemed by being knocked in the jaw on our next set up...ahhh even now. The rest of the evening was spent in the ravine where Matthew got to kick everyone's butt, in the ravine was enough horse shit to fill a factory and yet in my uber sexy corset I still found a way to fall, or at least hide my body out of the shot when I died. And ladies and gentlemen this was all done while wearing heels...Must say I had an incredible time pretending to be sexy and a bad ass chick. Tomorrow I get to do it all over again but with just two of us Betas...
I must say this is a mighty grand adventure our heroine has been placed in, can it truly ever get any better for her? Could she have more fun on set then either of these two Ponderous Movies? Is it possible to see Miss Lisamarie even happier with her new found acting hobby? Let's read her latest and last Diary entry to find out...
Dear Diary,
Holy Portal Slicing, today was amazing. When I say amazing I mean fucking amazing. I was one of two Betas, protecting the sexy Mister Donovan from the evilness of those out to get him. After all Donovan created me, cloned me, and genetically altered me enough to share the scene with him, so it is my job to protect his assets (haha I said ass... I mean assets). After Jake stalls out my car, because his was blocked in, stalling ONLY because he was being distracted by a near hysterical female and did not notice the brake was on...because someone (me) was yelling that he could not get out, but WOW!....he pulled right out in one motion(EDIT ... thats what I meant to say, as to not offend and make Jake look like a bad diver ...) I am handed a script "uhhhhh Bradley, you do know I am a crappy actress and shouldn't be allowed lines right?" all I got was a chuckle. Shit , lines, and not enough going on around to protect the film from my crappy work. Shit SHIT SHIIIITTT.... So the scene sets up, beta in front, Mister D in the middle and me bringing up the rear (hahaha I said rear)... he and other beta argue about the time portal being a trap , it (by it I mean Brett the director since this is in the edit phase he creates that) goes whoosh and I try to protect Mister D but he refuses and decides to be the tough guy and face the music. Yea easy for him to say, he wasn't the one who ended up with his neck snapped or like me, being thrown half way into a portal, and being pulled out only to die an instant death as the other half of me goes to a place and time unknown. Who knows what will happen to me when my half is discovered by the people of that time. This could screw up the whole time continuance. I regenerate as part of my make up, so does that mean the other half of me turns into a whole me, possibly stuck in Fiji on a deserted island with two hot cabana boys and ... sigh ohhh lets keep that part in my head, what do guys call it "one for the spank bank" yea that.
Okay I have to wrap this up, it's taken me entirely too far away from my real world... but I sit here, thinking of how awesome this life I lead is, and remember the advice, and kind thoughts of those who were unlucky enough to share the camera with me and I am happy.
Two favorite Quotes
"Never get caught acting"
"Shes to sexy to be cut in half"
So as anyone can see, Miss Lisamarie's adventure is truly only beginning, she urges you all to pre-order the first film in "The Innocence Saga" here, http://web.mac.com/ponderousproductions/Site/Premiere_Pre-Order.html so you can stay up to date with the story for when the ones I'm in are released.
Although I have yet to watch the series, I have faith that this is an awesome story , and one that needed to be filmed and I'd like to thank Ponderous Productions for giving me a chance of a lifetime, I think this project is amazing and I cannot wait to see what it looks like after edit. My favorite thing to say to those I know when talking about how I did on set is "It don't matter to much that I sucked, Brett will make it amazing" and he will.
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