Love lost.... refusing to move on. Spoilers for 360 games

The following is a tale of frustration, joy, love, and ultimately happiness turned sad and it is only through my desire to provide myself with closure and healing that I am writing this story of my beloved Xbox 360 Elite turned doorstop.

Two short months ago, after saving up hard earned money, and with love struck eyes I entered Game Stop to purchase my very own 360. My addiction to this little console of life was not fully fulfilled by playing my friend's, after all how many times can I scream out "Take that bitch" before Kyle started to take it personal? It started out rather simple, Silent Hill Homecoming, Left 4 Dead, COD 2, and several borrowed games (uhhh yea Kyle Ill get those back to you soon) , only a few hours (6) of missed sleep a night, and I was generally remembering to eat and use the restroom... These wonderful games taught me alot, I learned to love, and I learned to hate, I learned what it meant to sneak melee for some kick ass critical damage and I learned not to drive after playing Grand Theft Auto 4. Below I will share my progression if only to express to you just the deep seething pain that I am feeling right now.

Grand Theft Auto 4 , to talk about this game I must go back to the conversation I had with a friend about how obtuse I thought the game had to be, mind you I never played it, never even watched it, heck I did not even know anyone who owned it until that day. There I was, all cocky saying "how fun could it be ...wooooo kill people, sleep with strippers, and drive around" had I only known that not only do you get all that but you also get to beat up hot dog venders and steal cop cars I would have never disgraced this game nor its creators. Within minutes I was giving the old lady out side the bowling ally the beating of her life and getting away with it. HOURS later, when I had the game taken from me (apparently people sleep and I overstayed my welcome lol) I was driving down MoPac and tried to take the 183 exit at way to fast a speed and saw a car in front of me and found myself yelling "better fucking move bitch" then I remembered I was not Nico anymore, Nico was back at his home, watching silly history channel and sleeping with Michelle....and that is the exact moment I realized I will never love again , for I was in love with some brute who stupidly believed his cousin and moved to some dump in the U.S, but in love I was, and I have not looked back.

Left 4 Dead, one of my favorite games of all times, especially since I started with a friend who well is a gaming genius, I got to hide behind him, and he did not get to upset when I would shoot him in the back of the head or spook the witch...and he even said "good job" when after completing the campaign I was sitting at 9% accuracy. I learned rather fast that its a scary post-apocalypse world when left only with A.I's to see me through. Not only did they lose me, but they put walls in front of me , I actually went through a whole campaign without having to reload (well pretty much) because I spent more time watching the AIs and then letting them heal me. Several days later, and dark bags under my sleepless eyes later I was unlocking gamer points left and right....Sure Bill Ill heal you, brings me closer to another goal and more of my crack (gamer points)

Silent Hill The Homecoming , a huge fan of watching others and providing back seat gaming made this one of my first game purchases. So what that I spent the first hour screaming, at least by the second hour I stopped throwing my controller across the room. Hell I even started getting to the point I really connected with my character, I felt his pain as he searched for his little brother, and I knew that when the time came I was going to send the town of Silent Hill back to the hell in which it came. However the love affair ended when I decided not to look up the cheat on how to get past the sheriffs station. After restarting the game from the beginning and still finding the stupid weird phallic monsters in the bathroom there ready and willing to rip me in half I gave up, to many games that do not make me want to go emo and slash my wrists from frustration to spend weeks on one level...

Oblivion.... ohhhhh this was neat, brand new was cheap as crap, and I got to be the hottest Imperial chick that ever walked this side of the elder scrolls. I get to sneak around, kill and even eat rats (bucket list), and get to get some real good practice for my future (shocking as it sounds I learned that my future was to get better) I killed, I stole, I made potions that didn't do crap for 3 seconds on a skill I did not even care about but yay anyways. Eventually I realized I was not improving in the game, and then butthead Kyle zoned me in to the fact that the game learns according to the player, uhhh hello stupidest idea ever...

Fallout 3 ...Its to hard to even talk about, the pain is to deep so it is with blurry eyes I write this, through my tears I shall share my lose, the game of all games, the mecca of my world, Ive followed in Daddy's footsteps, I even dealt with the stupid idea I had to slaughter people in Megaton only to realize I NEED them , I even killed innocent people all in the hopes that my karma would go down to lesson the contracts on my head. I killed Grandma, (btw totally worth the karma lose, check her fridge out, the bitch was packing) without so much a blink of my eye....I fought my way to level 10, yes yes yes that's me, the stealthy ninja who laughs in the face of fire breathing ants and feral ghouls. I love this game, I think of my quests when I'm not playing them, I even felt slightly guilty for laughing when Id get the slow mo bloody decapitation from my kick butt weapon skills. I even freaked out and felt a tear when I chased down the guy who was yelling at me because something was going to explode and I didn't quite catch what he was saying...(spoiler alert the bombs attached to him, we both failed to make it through that moment) and I even accepted my fate when I realized I had not saved for awhile and not only will I encounter the stupid ass bomb boy again but all that cool crap I found along the way, all the super mutants, naked mole rats, and freak of nature dogs along the way somehow came back to life and I still love The Wasteland.

You may be wondering what all this is about, you may be saying "Chicks lost her mind" (duh) but I have a reason for this trip down memory lane, this morning, after deciding that sleep definitely was not happening I decided to help that stupid brat find new parents and when I turned on my 360, I got the red ring. Yup the "Microsoft sucks for allowing stores to sell what they know is defective materials at a high price all because they don't mind customers who call in tears asking if they can send the coffin STAT, and promise me it wont happen again crap". My two month old baby had an untimely death, all so Microsoft could keep their fingers crossed hoping most units wont red ring during the warranty and they will still get the profits....My love for all things radiated has come to a stand still, and I sit here and wonder, is it okay to feed my family ramen noodles so I can replace Elite with a Arcade Edition while waiting for Microsoft to send me my fixed version back along with a standard form letter that apologizes for the inconvenience yet at the same time hoping I don't notice that my saved game history is gone and I know they wonder if I can see that this oozes with bullshit because Im the one that has to explain to Andy my robot that his original owner no longer will listen to his jokes or drink his water because she DIED along with the stupid Elite.

Yay I feel better ....

Wait, no I realized this is not a nightmare and is in fact the life I was given for now. Sniffle.