Finding BASE 1092... A Story of love, life and death.

Sometimes it is often hard knowing exactly where to start with these blogs. What I do know is that I find writing to be somewhat therapeutic and for now that is what I will need. The background info that is needed is that my friend LeRoy went missing Wednesday September 9th, 2009. Over the next few days I tried to be patient and wait till he was found in the mountains of Utah but in the end, this story begins with the Austin Airport.

September 15th 2009 - LeRoys girlfriend Tiffany is set to fly in at 5 p.m and then we are off to Utah to search for him. We all have been told we have no business going, and I completely agree with them , but the fact remains that if the conditions were reversed I like to think he would come search and bring me home. Due to never meeting before , things are a bit awkward , we only have heard of each other at this point and it was like grasping at straws to find things to talk about. Tiffany can not drive a stick shift so we knew that it was my job to drive the entire way and her job to keep me awake. It was not long into the trip that we realized this was un-real. Anyone who knows me , knows that I get into more mis-adventures then adventures but from the start this was just to ridiculous to believe. That being said I have a witness and she can confirm that I do not even need to exaggerate this story to make it funny or unbelievable.

Bathroom break and gas stop 1 - Gas station is closed but we are able to pay at the pump. I had to go to the bathroom badly so I decided to go behind the station. This is where picture 1 and 2 come from, the station we stopped at, and the cactus I fell on. Not to mention I swear I heard banjo music as I was finishing up. Since another reason we were stopping was to charge our cell phones we were there for awhile. The whole time kinda freaking out about the huge insects dive bombing us, and that is picture 3.

11:45 p.m. Tiffany's cell phone rings, I could tell from the start it was not a good call. After a few minutes I can tell it is Sheriff Decker and the one line I heard with my own ears will forever stick with me. He said "You will just have to come to realize that LeRoy had violent tendencies and planned this all along". At this point I call my friend in Delta (well he became a friend but leaving his name out of the blog if I can) and I asked if he heard any news. I relayed what I had heard and within minutes Tiffany got off the phone. I asked what was going on. At this point LeRoy was missing 8 days, and there had been minor speculation that he went AWOL from the Army. No one that knew him believed it but it is this fact that gave us hope. Soon before Sheriff Decker of the Delta Sheriffs Dept called Tiff, a young man had been hijacked and assaulted , the Sheriff shows the kid a picture, just one picture of LeRoy and asks "Was this the man who attacked you?" and he answered yes. The next day the search was to resume and a helicopter brought back in. Due to this and the Sheriff saying "100% sure it was LeRoy who attacked the kid" he called the search off and informed our BASE jumpers already there and looking that the search was off. It was about this time that both our cell phones started to die again and well then they died...

September 16th , 2009 - 12:20 a.m. - We are driving trying to find a place to charge the phones again when I look behind me and see flashing red and blue lights. The following is the conversation that took place between me and Tiffany...

Me - Shit, are those for me?
Tiffany - Were the only ones on the road so I guess so.
Me - Crap I lost my licence after my last ticket...what do I say?
Tiffany - Pretend to look for it then ask if he can look it up.

So the officer pulls up and this exchange happens...

Him - Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me - I was speeding and or driving erratic.
Him - License or registration...
Me - Looked for a bit for my D.L then stated , I got pulled over a few weeks ago cause of my registration so I know its valid, but I do not have it on me, can you look it up?

Me and Tiffany then proceeded to tell him the previous weeks story in 2 mins flat and that we were trying to get to a gas station. The look on this poor mans face as we blurted out our excuse on why I was speeding was priceless and the poor man stated he was going to call and check out our story. When he came back this was the conversation that ensued

Him - Well I pulled you over because you were going 77 in a 65...
Me - Schew , I thought I was going 80
Him - None the less, you were speeding.
Me - I thought that was a suggestion
Tiffany - *choke*
Him - *Handing me a warning* Im just giving you a warning but you need to slow down
Me - So when I get pulled over next time , can I just give him the warning letter instead so he wont have to look up my license number?
Him - I wouldnt suggest you show another trooper the warning I just gave you
Tiffany - Busted out laughing
Him - Shaking his head
Me - Uhhh you can't have my warning back, I promise I wont speed again in Texas.

Yes this really happened as I told it. Just ask Tiff. I also did not speed the rest of the trip. I learned that lesson, and was very lucky.

To Be Continued ...

So we are off, we are heading to a open (yes cause apparently there are no open ones at night really) gas station to find a charger, and some 5 hour energy ( In the 26 hour drive I ended up downing 3 5 hour and 2 7 hour energy shots) for the drive. The trooper was right and the exit he pointed us to had a all night truck stop. We go in and I see one of my favorite things in the world ... a garden Gnome. He was wicked pricey so I took just a picture to last me. The Gnome is picture 4 on the facebook album. So back to the gas station. We take an incredible amount of time finding things we need and get back in the car. Nothing to amazing or weird happened here but Tiffany did almost get carried away by a group of people that decided they wanted to be in her bubble. A bit creepy if ya ask me. We start taking turns charging our cell phones, simply to receive phone call after phone call of often conflicting reports.

At times I would call David, to complain of the drive, or to cry of why I was taking this trip, and every time I had a new story to tell him. Although he was not there physically he spent the drive there in spirit. One such time he happened to be talking, I see the signs in New Mexico stating that I have to stop for Border Patrol...UMMM WHAT? So I in haste tell David I have to go, because I may have gotten lost and ended up in Mexico which would add major time to our trip. So here we are, traveling 25 mph down a very long entrance to the Border and Tiffany is laughing hysterically and Im going off on a tangent about "Leave it to me to travel to Utah and end up across the border...". Finally we reach the station and there we see it, two men and a big mean looking but well behaved dog. Before they speak I state "PLEASE PLEASE tell me I am NOT in Mexico?". Both men laugh and state that I am not, that this is a check point and proceeded to ask if we were U.S. Citizens. I gave a hell ya, and proud and we were on our way.

It was through these minor funny moments we remained sane during the drive. No one can live on sorrow all the time. It did not take much to make us bust out laughing by this point. Everything was weird, everything we were going through was rather scary, and there were so many questions that hung in the air. Through out the early morning , before the sun came out, me and Tiff came up with possible reasons behind what the Sheriff had told us. We debunked it, then realized WAIT...this is HOPE. If LeRoy is alive everything else can be fixed. So we started to go with this new theory, after all we had heard it already for hours, and a Sheriff would not be 100% sure without being 100% sure ....right? (Granted most of the accused get a fair trial before being convicted but hey THIS means he may be alive).

Then something beautiful happens, the sun comes out. And the very first sight I see are represented in pictures 5 and 6 ... All I can feel or think is "Wow". At approx 8 a.m this all slowly changes. I call to see if the search party plans to head out. After all , the Sheriff can't say who can go hiking in that mountain. It belongs to the people. People like us. People on the search party. However, the Sheriff still feels the assault was committed by LeRoy and therefore , he called off the Helicopter, and the SAR, and I am pissed. We are losing our search party because the Sheriff is "suspicious" about this assault happening and those that came to help search and our timing in regards to everything. We still have a good 10 hours worth of driving and I am depleted of energy and my stress level and broken heart is becoming an empty heart. I remain as strong as I can because I know Tiff will feed off any negative energy I give out and my whole job in this , at that moment was to get to Delta, and be there for her. I see a turn off for a "Scenic Area" and decide we will stop and ignore our phones for just a moment. Talk about disappointing, our scenic area was literally empty , broken and very smelly chicken coops as seen in picture # 7. Then finally we come upon picture 8, Earth has a nipple, and thats the proof so yes I took a picture and yes I giggled.

Now mind you this whole time, since the sun rose, the calls did not stop. One second we were finding out more "stories" which I wont put on here due to the Sheriff admitting he was lying about them, as well as conflicting things depending on who he talked to and how soon after they got ahold of Tiffany or myself. It was getting to the point I could not handle it. Our search team was leaving , we were about to arrive and I had not slept but 3 hours in almost 36 hours and I was approaching my breaking point. I broke when we got the phone call stating that there now is evidence that suggests there may be another suspect. Not only that, but since it is hunting season , there potentially is little reason to feel that LeRoy should have been the ONLY suspect. By now we are at Moab , and service is shotty, so I pull over at "Hole in the Wall" ...pics 9 and 10. While Tiff is finding out more information I call the dispatch for the Sheriffs department and explain to them that in the past 12 hours we have gone from him being a missing person, to him being a felon, to him maybe not being a felon, to him being maybe out there alive, or dead. I explain in a rather persistent tone that I have been driving for a day, and still have several more hours to go and at this point unless they have him alive or his body to not call us with speculation.

This is the point I broke down, after hanging up with the dispatch, I find out from Tiffany its still a high chance it is LeRoy. Then it hits me, if what they say is true, this man who I have loved as my friend since my AFF training, was not who I thought he was. If what they say is true, LeRoy sat in the mountains for 8 days, and not once did the thought of his family or friends make him change his mind on "feigning death" nope , not if we listen to the Sheriff, but instead encouraged him to make his way 25 miles towards town and not only hijack and kidnap a person, but beat him as well. If Sheriff Decker was right, I lost not only one of my best friends, but I did not know him, the integrity and the character I have felt in my heart and mind for years was all a lie. This led me to realize just how vulnerable I was, the pain of the realization the Sheriff led us to have showed me just how weak I was. How easy it was to be fooled without warning. How easy I gave of my heart, as if everyone who was exposed to it had good intentions. I succumbed to what Sheriff Decker said, and he sentenced me to life. Although we later find out that things were sketchy and that yes he flat out lied to us , he still sentenced me to a life with less trust. Here I was spending money and time I did not have to find a man the Sheriff thinks tried to go AWOL , and then committed a felony. I felt betrayed in the worst way. I went to Utah because in my soul I realized I had to be there, because we were going to bring him home even if only for closure and to put his body to rest. Years of conversations, a lie. Years of love and friendship, a ruse. Years of trust and confidence, misplaced. I cried harder that moment then I have ever cried in my life. Tiffany, as if on cue let me get it out, as I had been throughout the time giving her such time. The sad part is, that even though these feelings were based on the lies of someone who swears to protect and serve, it still is what we went through. As I calmed , I made the biggest decision thus far, and possibly for personal reasons the biggest decision I could make for the whole trip.

To Be Continued...

As we drove I thought of my choice in what I was about to do and realized that if I went through with it, that I was in essence saying goodbye to LeRoy regardless of how things turn out. And then I see it, and decide to follow through. I was about to cut away, which is a skydiver term, and for the first time ever I actually put it in effect. I pull over and I take off the necklace LeRoy made for me so many years ago, and I tell her that right now I am saying good bye to what I feel and moving forward with not so heavy of a heart. LeRoy gave me the closing pin necklace and I in turn want to give it back. The only way I knew how , at that moment, to put me at peace was to say my peace to him. If he was alive, dead, or indefinitely missing, from that moment on the piece of him I wore on my neck since he went missing was going home. Pictures 11 and 12 show where I said my words to him and I said them to Tiffany. I handed her the necklace and told her "I still will always have hope, but as he gave this to me so many years ago, I am now passing it on to you and together we will give it to the place that will forever hold a part of our souls". She asked me if I should wait until we went to the peak and I explained that LeRoy is not on that peak for me, he is here , now, telling me to let go enough to move forward. With that she held the necklace to her heart, and threw it. I will never regret this moment. I stayed true to myself and from that moment forward , although hard, moved forward. It is in that vast land that I found BASE 1092, LeRoy D. Buckley. We have not brought him home but we did find him. In our hearts , in choosing to press forward, to remain a bit hopeful, to move on yet feel betrayal if he was who the Sheriff said he was. We found him, and no one could take that from us. Unconditional love , Tiff and I, for it is the journey we took together and the path that LeRoy has led us on.

When time allows I shall share more of this trip. There are still so many things I have not been able to share with anyone but Tiffany. There is one constant in my story, she was by my side every step of the way...